not sure if my woozy bad back pain is helping but the measure of Dad's passing is in Mum's progress since - I see her gamely saying all is fine, and the village supports, but I rang and chatted on the 8th (which is to me the real anniversary, i.e. when Peter's presence was taken) and she was able to talk of it still feeling recent. Rachel now nearby to take closer eye is comforting. Quaker and Zen approach to old age is forcibly to my mind, acceptance, peace, reflection, tranquillity, presence.